it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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