dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
