The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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