you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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