uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize