I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think a kid would responsible me up
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
