I'm drive I can fine osifer
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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