there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
