margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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