Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize