Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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