My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize