i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
