If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.