And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!