There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
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I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
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I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know