Betty ford says i'm here all night
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
