We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
