I'm going to jail i love you
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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