Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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