i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
