glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
