we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
