id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
