Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
