a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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