I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize