one two three fourrrrnication!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize