My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
