She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
