Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You need a sexual gate keeper
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize