tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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