I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Randomize
