Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Damn victory sex feels great
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
