Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
