It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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