There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
