I'm going to jail i love you
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
