Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
