we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
