so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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