Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
