i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
