That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
