Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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