just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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