At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
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Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
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Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize