You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
