I feel like I'm in dance class right now
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
