I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize