i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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