FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst night to have a conscience
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
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