**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
