Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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