i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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