he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Randomize
