Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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