yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
