I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize