I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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