When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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